And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
