Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
