Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
