If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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