how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
