it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My vagina is officially offended.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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