Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
