I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
