Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
