So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
