yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize