Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
