Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
