I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
