she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
