Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
You need a sexual gate keeper
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
