Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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