I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
