Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
