it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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