I forgot how hot balto sounded
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
