would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
