What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
