Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
