he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
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