i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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