I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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