Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
