I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
