Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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