Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
