No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
