Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I'm just crazy horny about you
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
