Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
