Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Randomize
