I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
