I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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