Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
