we have officially lost it.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
