we have officially lost it.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
