I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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