cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
