Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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