i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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