btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Just cropdusted the office
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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