what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I think your dad took our porno
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
