there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
