youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
