I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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