Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
