did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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